Category Archives: Musings

Sky is the limit

I have a thing for looking up- I wouldn’t want to miss a call from the gods. Happy Monday 🙂

Corner Biccard and Stiemens, Braamfotein, Johannesburg

Corner Biccard and Stiemens, Braamfotein, Johannesburg

7th Street, Melville, Johannesburg

7th Street, Melville, Johannesburg

Rocking the Daisies, Darling Wine Estate, Western Cape

Rocking the Daisies, Cloof Wine Estate, Darling- Western Cape

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The romantic in me

I absolutely love this! A charming young lady and a well suited man, leaping onto the train to give her a smooch. Turns out the romantic in me is not dead.

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Small Talk

Whilst sitting at a quiet coffee shop in Harare, reading a copy of Destiny Man magazine it occurred to me that I’d much rather enjoy my own company than engage in small talk.

There are few things that get on my nerves but small talk is right up there with people who chew and breathe loudly. No really- I’m willing to finance a national campaign against it.

Quite frankly, I don’t care about your thoughts on the weather. There are a few things that don’t need to be “unpacked”. Of course we all hate standing in queues. Of course you hate Mondays and yes we are looking forward to Friday but do we need to go into an in depth discussion about it? And besides I get all awkward. I start over thinking my responses and blurt out something like “You’re right- having a sunny day in winter does confirm that the world is coming to an end after 2012”.

I quite enjoy a conversation that starts with some high level talk, mellows into witty banter and ends with utter drivel. I find it less awkward to chat to a stranger about the on going conflict in Syria, then chuckle about our current president’s latest blunder and then move onto some frivolous babble, like how I’m so glad I’m not one of the teenage moms on 16 and Pregnant.

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Pay your dues

Well well well…could it be? A prayer answered. A wish granted. Karma in reverse.

Pay your dues: it has become lesson number one in 2012. I’ve spent the past year doing runt work, sending 2 applications a day and attending interviews with no follow-ups. If you refer to my “PickMe” post, you’ll see that I was getting quite edgy about it.

The angst had built to a climax in the past couple of weeks when a friend of mine, Karabo Mafisa said “Phaks, you have to pay your dues”. And like any light bulb moment, I had nothing to reply. I kept replaying the words like a new motto. Within the same week I was called in for an interview with a global public relations company. The following week they sent me a writing assessment; I met the MD and was sent a contract to begin work with them immediately.
In a quick twitter survey, I asked my followers what their first jobs were and here are some responses:

-“Worked at a film festival and loved it!’ – Lauren Rosenburg
-“I was a library assistant…it was alright.I’m now an international criminal lawyer/researcher. I love it!” –Princess Ailitto
-“I was a waiter in my first year. Hated the customers but it made some decent money” – Jasmine
Rod Stewart was a grave digger before he became a rock star and Beyonce Knowels worked at her moms hair salon whilst singing her way to fame. So lesson learnt universe, one must start at the bottom to rise to the top.
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It must be…

Jason Mraz album cover from the album: Love is a four letter word.
Love balloons by Jenny van Sommers
Love lollipops by the queen of candy Dylan Lauren
See what I’m doing here: 3 of my favourite images meets the lyrics to “It must be love” by british pop band Madness. Genius! Happy love month.
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YOLO

By Stephen Doyle (oprah.com)
Happy New Year! I must apologise for the rather late start in blogging this year but I was actually doing everybody a favour. You see, since the clock struck 00:00 on 01.01.2012 I’ve had a dark cloud following me. It must be all those zeros, ones and twos or the fact that I have 3 months before turning TWENTY- FIVE. It feels like a crisis of sorts. Consequently, I need a chat with father time and the lady who runs the fountain of youth.
I’m anxious, uncertain, slightly cynical, fraught with worry and hosting all kinds of pity parties throughout the day. Instead of thinking about the things I’ve accomplished, I’m more concerned with the things I haven’t gotten around to. It’s as if I have subconsciously given myself a deadline and now I’m begging for an extension. With this comes a multitude of middle class concerns: Yes, I’ve traveled but not to Asia or Europe. I have a degree but will I ever have my dream job? I know where I want to be in 10 years but I have no assurance that I’m taking the right steps to get there. I read but not more than I watch TV. I eat more than I work out. I have a savings account with no money in it. The only things I own are clothes and books. I have no clear vision of how this year will unfold and there’s nothing like “the stress of not knowing that destroys ones sanity”.
Having established that, I can only ground myself with the things I know for sure. I have great skin and can no longer afford to sleep with make up on. Exercising releases all my anxiety. I need my body more than it needs me. Thank you and please are two very important expressions in any language. A quick prayer for peace and clarity can be more elevating than an hour mass. If I haven’t written down a “to do” list, I’m likely to forget. Being on time is harder than being late. Love trumps fear. Barbie isn’t real. Music is healing. I must write down my epiphanies before they’re overridden by the next fruitless thought. Keep my Facebook page clean. Reading improves my vocab. 3AM is the devils hour. I trip, bite my tongue or bang my toe immediately after having a negative thought. It’s ok to say “no”.
The trending theme for 2012 seems to be YOLO: You Only Live Once. It’s a green light for living your best life and a reminder that anxiety, worry, cynicism and self- pity are not absolutes.
Dear self, get over yourself. Quite frankly you have a lot to be thankful for in the 25 years you’ve lived.
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Cellular Telephones

I got my first cellular telephone when I was 14. It felt like the gods had “made it rain”. I could choose any monophonic ringtone, change covers and I quickly made it to level 4 of Snake. It bulged out of my front jean pocket but I was not ashamed to show anyone that I had a Nokia 5110. Not to mention the privacy! I could send a text without my mother lingering in the kitchen to hear whom I’m talking to on the landline (she still does it).

A few years later my friends and I were in awe of the colour screen, MP3 ringtone, camera and a bigger memory that could save more than 15 messages. Following my final high school year I could browse the web, download music, record videos, email, MMS and IM. Keep up because if you have a child who has a cellphone, they are using all these features and applications!

This middle class concern is about violating student privacy and raiding their cellphones for pornography and sexts (sexy texts). The technological improvements I’ve mentioned where the start of some rotten behaviour. Generation Y has taken playing “doctor- doctor” /”mommy and daddy” a little too far and in the process played a large part in distributing child pornography. Etv’s investigative programme 3rd Degree caused quite a stir after exposing teen sexting. I wondered if mom’s and dad’s where not listening in on their children’s conversations anymore?

Results from a survey conducted by Cosmo Girl and The National Campaign: prevent teen and unplanned pregnancy says 22% of teens (13- 19yrs) have sent or posted nude pictures or videos of themselves. In addition, 39% have sent sexually suggestive messages. Texts, email and instant messaging are even more prevalent than sexually suggestive images. Most teens and young adults who send sexually suggestive content are sending it to boyfriends/ girlfriends whilst others say they are sending such material to those they want to ‘’hook up’’ with or to someone they only know online.

Let me make it clear, this means that potential employers, university recruiters, teachers, parents, friends and strangers may all be able to find pictures or videos of you that have been posted on the internet, even after you delete them. I barely make a new friend without checking out their Facebook profile first. It is impossible to control what your 15 year old pimply boyfriend is posting about you. Even if you have second thoughts and delete a topless photo, someone has already copied that photo and posted it elsewhere. So? Raid those phones!

Last year the Sowetan reported: “A group of 13-year-old girls were caught sipping vodka and watching a pornographic video on a cellphone – allegedly of one of the girls having sex with her boyfriend” at Port Elizabeth’s Collegiate High School. Those students are free to sue the school for invading their privacy and violating freedom of speech rights. But the Bill of Rights also speaks of the “limitation of rights”. I am no lawyer but unsupervised hours on the net and those cute little Blackberry’s may risk your child’s mental health as well as spiritual, moral or social development.

Thank you to my Aunt Funeka for suggesting this topic. The one question I couldn’t address is “who has set the tone for this?” It’s hard to imagine myself as a teen sending nude pic’s to a stranger. The fear of God, Mom and teacher were always too high. I would love to hear your comments. Until this has been tackled, my niece and nephew can look forward to 5110’s bulging out their front jean pockets.

Ps. Follow me on Twitter @PhakamaniLisa

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